Blossom on a Broken Bough

My precious angel Becki came to me on October 2, 1986.  When Becki was born, she was a cesarean section baby.  Her father got to actually deliver her!  Back in 1986 fathers were only beginning to be allowed into the delivery room during C-Sections so for him to be able to actually deliver her was a big deal!  After the incision was made my obstetrician turned to my husband said…”Lift her out Dad” .  Daddy was thrilled!

Becki Ann was a perfect baby girl; all ten fingers and all ten toes. She weighed 6 pounds and 9 ounces.  She was 19 inches long.   Later  in the day when Dr. Trumbower came to see us he said to my husband “You’ll always love all of your children, but this child will be special.”  Little did he know how prophetic those words would be!

On Becki’s 6 month birthday, she  came down with meningitis.  This is an infection of the covering of the brain.

The doctors and nurses at the University of Missouri Hospital did not expect our angel to live. The doctor asked us if we wanted extreme measures taken to save her life and we said absolutely!  This was our daughter and we wanted everything done to help her.  That very night Becki’s  breathing stopped and she was put her on ventilator.  Seeing all of the tubes coming out of her we decided if her heart stopped too we didn’t want her living on machines.  Daddy and I started to plan her funeral.

But Becki was a fighter!  She came off of the ventilator a few days later and came home from the hospital after a month stay.  Unfortunately, not without battle scars.

The meningitis took a huge toll on Becki.  It left her with cerebral palsy.  It also left her blind and deaf.  Her mental age never progressed past newborn.

She came home with a nasal gastric tube in her nose.  We were told she would eventually have to have the gastric tube put into her stomach for feeding as she had lost her sucking and swallowing abilities.  I said to the doctor “Can’t we at least try a bottle” and we were told “Oh no she will aspirate”  Being the bullheaded mother I am, when we brought her home from the hospital, I decided to try to give her a bottle.  I figured, if she coughed or choked we would stop.  Becki took the bottle with no problem!  Against all odds…I fed Becki orally for 18 years!

This was just one of the several small accomplishments Becki was able to make.  To most people her baby steps would seem insignificant but because of her disabilities they were huge to anyone who knew her, including family and teachers. They were  blossoms on a broken bough!

We had moved to the Chicago area right after Becki’s first birthday.  When we left Missouri, everyone said to us, “We hate to see you go but there will be so much more available for Becki in Chicago.”  How right they were!

A guardian angel pointed us in the direction of  The Philip Rock Center.  PRC is a residential school  that offers services for children who are blind and deaf.   Becki started receiving their services shortly after we moved here.  I’ll never forget, Amy, her BD Specialist at the time saying, “You’ll receive home services from us until Becki turns three and starts school.”  I remember thinking…she won’t go to school.  I was brand new to the world of disabilities and didn’t know not only would she go to school, but she would have some of the best teachers in the field!

We had heard many horror stories about the school system and children like our Becki but we were so fortunate to have so many teachers that fought for her to have the best!  I can’t rave enough about the district 89 teachers that Becki had.

They worked with her with switches, and light boxes, and textures…anything to let her know there was life going on outside her private little world.  Again, every small improvement she made was treated as a big deal!  If she seemed to respond to any type of outside stimulus, we were all overjoyed!

In spite of her many disabilities for 18 years Becki was an extremely healthy little girl!  She had not been in the hospital for any reason for 18 years and I can count on one hand the number of times she missed school due to minor illnesses.

The last year of her life however, was a different story.  Becki was in and out of the hospital several different times with pneumonia which was unusual for her.  The first time she went in the doctors and nurses could not believe it was the first time she had been in the hospital since the meningitis! 

She was so sick with the pneumonia once again I had to make the decision if they should give life support if it should come to it.  This time I said no, but this little fighter surprised everyone and battled back and came out of the hospital after two weeks.

But Becki’s little body was telling her it was time to join the angels in Heaven.  She did have pneumonia two more times.

Becki received her angel wings on December 18^th 2004.  Just one week before Christmas.

I miss my little angel so much.   I take comfort in knowing she is once again whole and can hear and see and is playing with the angels and our dog Gunsmoke, who also went to Heaven the day after Becki’s funeral.

Someone recently  told me, you took care of Becki  every day for for 18 years, now she is taking care of you.  I feel her with me every day.